The diary of Lapita

Hello purple royal bloggers, i know sometimes i put chapters of books i may or may not write. 
well this chapter is going to be a book i will write :) 

10.13

its a Saturday and its cold. everything has been rather boring, today all i have done is sit in my chair and study all that i need to know to become a countess. but most people say '' a countess is a widow to a count'' and that is where you are wrong.  my cousin luvac is very strong and smart and people voted him the next prince but nothing is as it should be... he died that night from drinking poison. mother says i must stay in my chambers till the culprit is found. i shall not obey nor shall i care what she has to say, my mother cares very little for me since i'm her fifth child and not as important as the first four. i'm the only daughter though and i assumed i would be favored but as i said nothing is as it should be.  but you must be wondering why does she wish for me to stay in my chambers and be safe? no.. not because she cares for my well being she wants me to marry the new count of lock. which i shall never abide by since he is the most ugly and loud being i have ever laid eyes on. nevertheless i must continue studying to be a countess.. which means widow... and my mother says the count of lock is not healthy and will die shortly after our marriage... and i will be a countess.  is that supposed to make me feel better my queen? i asked sarcastically.  she smiled coyly because she knew where i was getting at. ''i will kill him if i have to... to make sure all of my children are royal and first class''  but mother surely you don't expect me to give birth to an heir with a man who shall die do you? i asked flipping my fan in front of me shyly.  '' you will not have a child in your womb... after your wedding day i shall kill him and you shall pick a new husband you love... but first we must make you countess''  she said flipping her fan in front of her face.  oh but dearest mother you are so pretty and wise but what if the man i love is a farmer? i asked raising my eyebrows with pride for i knew this would get her angry.  '' a illiterate  man from the peasantry?! never!  my dear... lapita  your mouth may be the death of you''  she said wrapping my long brown hair between her fingers,  '' shut it or loose it'' she said slapping my face as she stood up and walked gracefully down the stairs.  this memory is making me sad... i shall retire and write more tomorrow.